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A]
Available:  Am I single? Yes. Many women in my past have apparently made good decisions.

[B] Best concert: I love small venue shows. Seeing Brantley Gilbert play a small bar years ago is definitely up there!

[C] Current clothing: Same as every other day Pinkie, T-shirt, Jeans, Sneakers and of course a Hat.

[D] Dirty little secret: My bathroom at home always needs to be cleaned. ALWAYS.

[E] Eat at the most: Whatever is closest. I hate driving out of my way for food that will taste the same as the burger joint across the street.

[F] Favorite band: Zac Brown Band is my favorite national act. Artists primarily playing in Texas? William Clark Green has been speaking to my soul for the past year, so I’m going to go with him!

[G] Gummy bears or worms: Neither. I like real bears, and real worms. I don’t play around with imitations.

[H] Hometown: Born in Emporia, Kansas. I claim two other towns as hometowns as well. Topeka, Kansas and Overland Park, Kansas.

[I] If I weren't in radio: I’d probably be homeless. Or on the road doing stand-up comedy.

[J] Junk food: Yes. I’m horrible to myself. I love junk food. I don’t drink soda but if it’s greasy there is a very good chance I’m going to be on board with it.

[K] Killer radio moment: I once stayed on air for 10 hours straight to broadcast the wild fires that were happening. I got a lot of calls from very thankful folks.

[L] Listen to me: My mom wanted me to be a lawyer. She still wants to know when I’m going to get a “real job.”

[M] Music to chill to: Wow, random list. You are really asking some good questions. When I just want to relax, I will listen to stuff I don’t normally listen to. Like Ingrid Michaalson and Bret Dennen.

[N] Number of siblings: SIX. But there is math involved. Here we go: 2 brothers from my dad’s previous marriage. 1 Sister from my Mom’s previous marriage. 2 kids from my parents (me and my little brother) and a step brother who joined the family about 10 years ago who is older than all of us!

[O] One wish: I’d wish for one more wish. And then the next wish, wish for one more wish. And so on. I’m pretty sure I’m not doing that right.

[P] Person you'd love to meet:  In my line of work I’ve gotten to meet a lot of country stars. So I think I would like to meet my favorite comedians. Louie C.K. tops that list.

[Q] Quantum Physics: String Theory. I’m all over that….Unfortunately I’ve just been informed that it’s not at all what I thought it was. I was really hoping this was a cheese question.

[R] Reason to smile: I’m doing what a nine year old version of me dreamed of doing.

[S] Start in radio: I lied. It’s true. I wasn’t going to college at the time, but I went to the employment office, grabbed some internship papers and went to my favorite local radio station. They were under the impression I was a legit intern. I worked 80 hours a week for free. They hired me. (note: this approach is not advisable.)

[T] Time you wake up: It really depends on what happened the night before. But if it was a quiet night, About 8:30. Followed by three GIANT cups of coffee.

[U] Underrated band: Wow. I just blew my own mind. Awesome question Letter U! There are so many great bands working their hardest to be seen and known that I love. I’m going to go with Granger Smith. I really think that guy needs to be heard by more people. His story from working with Jason Aldean is a pretty great one too.

[V] Vacation: I either go home to see the family, go to San Angelo to see some friends. Or I DO NOTHING. Seriously. NOTHING. I have been known to not open the front door of my house for days of vacation.

[W] Website you rely on: I love Fark.com I’m also always on twitter and facebook.

[X] X-rays you've had: Most recently would be my teeth. Oh man, I just realized I have another dentist appointment on Monday. Thanks X. I thought we were cool.

[Y] Your favorite country artists:  In no particular order: Zac Brown Band, William Clark Green, Jason Aldean, Carrie Underwood’s legs, Cory Morrow, Roger Creager, Blake Shelton, and a shout out to my buddy Dan Patterson.

[Z] Zodiac sign: I’m a Sagittarius. And yes, Those hooves are real, and they’re spectacular.

Creative Jumper Cables

by JR KLLL posted Jun 24 2013 5:05PM
I haven’t been feeling very creative lately. Creative is part of my job description. It’s a tough rut to get out of. So, I figured I would write here until I feel like my block is unblocked. It could take a while. You might be reading the beginning chapter of the next great American novel.  Or, much more likely, a blog post I may never put up.

I recently bought a pick-up. It’s the nicest thing I’ve ever owned. I’ve previously been in vehicles that having a pair of vice grips on hand to get the window up was the normal. In fact, I owned a jeep without windows at all. During the winter it would snow into my back seat. I carried an extra coat whenever I drove. I was homeless for a short period of time and lived in that Jeep.
The Jeep Formerly known as Booger

It was a pretty crummy winter. Owning a new truck and having my creativity drop off makes me think maybe I’m growing soft in that department. Maybe I need to exist on the fringes of things. Having a steady income over the past two and a half years may have done more than made me a little rounder on the outside. Maybe it’s made my brain get fat as well.

I have an idea. I used to write these letters to random people or things. I called them “letters I don’t plan on sending.” This was back in the days of myspace. I was once a pretty popular blogger on there. Well popular may be exaggerating a touch.

So let’s try doing that again.

Dear roommate,
I’m writing this letter because it doesn’t seem as if anything else has gotten through to you. When you moved in, we had the agreement that you would at least keep your area clean. I don’t mind taking care of dinner everyday. I don’t even mind when you crawl in my bed every once in a while. But the trash that comes out of your area is just unacceptable. I understand that you’re a cat. I’ve come to terms with your shedding. I’ve come to accept you only wanting attention at the least convenient moments possible. But getting your litter stuck to my freshly showered feet makes me think you might be an outside cat. I’ve heard every cat is an outside cat when you don’t want it anymore.

Ok, that was a little too far. I’m sorry. It was an idle threat. I promise. Please don’t kill me tonight when I’m asleep.

Sincerely Sorry,
J.R.
A.K.A. the guy who lives at your house testing your goodwill.


The roommate. She doesn't have a name. If she did, she wouldn't come to it if I called her anyway. 


Dear bartender,
I promise, I probably don’t need that last drink at 1:45 AM. Please don’t listen to anything I say. Just call me a cab.
 
Thanks,
J.R.
P.S. So sorry I’m bad with math and tipping. I’m getting better I promise.


Getting ready for a long Tuesday is my guess. 


Dear U.S. Postal Service,
I recently spoke briefly with a postman on a Saturday. I was under the impression Mail service had stopped on Saturdays, so when I even saw a letter carrier, I was a tad surprised. So, being the guy everyone hates at a meeting for asking questions, I asked the aforementioned (thank you thesaurus) “When are you guys stopping delivering on Saturday?” The postal carrier replied, rather tersely I would like to point out, “Never.” With that level of confidence about literally anything else, I would probably be (insert something awesome I couldn’t think of right now.). With that level of confidence, it genuinely surprises me that my mail is constantly being delivered to the wrong mail box. My mail box has my name on it. The one the postal service keeps putting it in does not. This to me is exactly the same as someone wearing and Affliction or Ed Hardy t-shirt. It’s confidence in the wrong place. Let’s start seeing mail go to the right address before we start saying “never” to anything. Saying “Never” should be reserved for questions like “Hey J.R. when do you like anchovies on your pizza?” or “Hey J.R. when will you be buying that new Justin Beiber album?”

Never Yours,
J.R.
P.S. Please don’t tell anyone what I’m getting delivered to the wrong address.


 
Dear J.R.,
Please stop using this space to try and rectify your mail problems. If you want to talk to the federal government, just leave yourself a voicemail.
 
Thanks,
The National Security Agency
P.S. We know what you got delivered in the mail. And frankly, you should be ashamed.


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People : Justin Beiber
06/24/2013 5:05PM
Creative Jumper Cables
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