I am going to have a moment where I want to just sit and talk with you… or in this case write to you.
Around this time every year I like to sit and just take stock in what has gone on in the past year. My list usually starts with who I’ve lost.
Family, some closer than others, but I’ve lost family. I’ve lost a couple of family members in a quick and unexpected fashion. So unexpected that it still takes some time for you to wrap your head around the loss. Other family, we knew it was coming, diseases like cancer took another victim.
While even though I have experienced these losses I had great joy over the last year. I not only found the man that brings me joy, he asked me to be his wife and I am setting down the road of engagement and together forever.
While I was thinking about the losses and the fact that we are counting down to the 36 Hours of Miracles that comes up every year, and I will hear more stories of tragedy, not loss, but terrible things happening to good people…
I kind of thought about what crap it all is.
I know what your thinking, that’s a bold statement!
Just follow me, its crap that cancer doesn’t distinguish between ages. Children younger than 5 can be diagnosed and people well over 70 can have it. Cancer doesn’t care who you are. It doesn’t care that you still have an entire life to live or that you will soon be having grandchildren or great grandchildren on the way… It doesn’t care. And that’s crap.
Cancer doesn’t care what time of year it is. When your fight is over, that’s it, there is no redo button. It doesn’t care that its Christmas, or your birthday, or that you still haven’t seen your daughter in her first recital. Cancer doesn’t care and that’s crap.
Thinking about this as I looked back on the year it honestly made me angry. We can cure ED with a little blue pill, but cancer is this huge enigma that we still can’t wrap our brains around….
I digress, that is a whole different argument.
After thinking about the loss that I have experienced and the time of year and then oddly enough thought about the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life”… I have never been a fan of the movie, but it oddly came to mind. Well, more the over tone and general theme of the movie. I had to ask myself what I have learned?
Cancer sucks! That was a no brainer, but what else?
Well, with each loss I learned different types of empathy.
You see that is one of the greatest qualities of being human is having empathy for another human being and the struggles that they are going through.
Those of you who are like me and are missing people around your Christmas table this year keep a few things in mind.
- Yes it is unfair.
- That it’s okay to feel like its unfair.
- This is the most important, focus on the love around you.
Holidays have been tough for me off and on since I was 13. I lost my dad at that age, and there are times that I am reminded of the epic suck that is cancer.
I’m sure that as I work my way to ‘I Do’ through out the next year I will have times I will be reminded again. But I will just keep my focus on #3.
My family will be getting bigger which means there is more love to go around and if there is a theme that resounds through out Christmas its love.
So with that Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and I love you all!