Dear Lord: Please Forgive Me For This Blog About Flatulation!

Something Stinks

A Florida woman has been locked up on a charge of assault with a deadly weapon after she threatened to stab a man who complained about her farting inside a Dollar General store.  This is 100% true.  People say “you can’t make this stuff up!”  I never understood that expression because I could easily fabricate any story but that’s for another day.  The point is, I am not doing that. 😀

37-year-old Shanetta Wilson was standing in the checkout line when she allegedly let one rip in the direction of a man standing behind her. The victim was not pleased with the unpleasant poof and expressed his disgust. Wilson apparently did not appreciate his objection, so she took the law into her own hands like a true farting outlaw would…she pulled out a knife and threatened to “gut” him!  As she appeared to get ready to attack him, he walked away.

There are a couple of things that should’ve happened here.  The dude could’ve just said nothing.  Backed up, left it alone and let her marinate in her own smell!  The other option: SHE could’ve said “excuse me” and dealt with the embarrassment.  Instead dude says: “You smell like a turd” humiliated, freakin’ Shanetta she says: “Your life will end in Dollar General.”  Feels like the Wild West around here!

Police were called and they arrested Wilson, who has a lengthy rap sheet that includes battery, theft and drug possession. It’s believed this is her first flatulence-related crime. Read more at The Smoking Gun.  

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