I hope you’re ready for one hell of a story. Thank Blake Shelton and this Insta post.
Well isn’t that cute. “King of Country” is a little far though. Dang it, there’s only one King of Country and Vodka should know that.
Either way, it’s sweet and hell yes I’d wear this cape to Chili’s for dinner. Here’s how it would work:
I would call in and make a reservation for “Baaaad Dude”. Then I would make my first appearance. The most important. This is where your imagination comes in. I need you to picture YOURSELF working as the hostess at Chili’s. You there yet? No? How about now? Good. Here we go….
The double doors to Chili’s swing wide open. Very obnoxiously. Yes, both doors at the same time. Suddenly, you see me. Hair and cape flowing in the wind. Lookin’ like a younger, better looking, more masculine Evel Knievel. I’m thinking “Daaamn I look good”. All you can really think is “how did he get both doors open and turn the corner like that?” I walk in saying “reservation for one darlin’, unless YOU wanna make it two.” Followed closely with what I think is a charming laugh but to everyone else, it’s a sleazy one. You ask for the name. “Baaaaad Dude” I reply. You then roll your eyes and I grab a toothpick. Before dinner. Because I’m cool.
This is where you morph into the waiter at Chili’s. Just so we’re clear, you are no longer the hostess. You are the waiter. Got it? Good. Here’s part two…
You (The waiter) say “Hello sir, may I take your order?”. Said very politely I might add. Thank you for that. I respond by ordering for the lady at the table next to me. I then tell you (The waiter) “Put her un-sweetened tea on my tab, would ya, hoss?”. Referring to the woman next to me. Then I move to her table, dip my finger in her un-sweetened tea and say “I got some sugar for ya honey pie.”
You played two huge roles in this story. The hostess and the waiter. Since you hung in there, you get to decide how this one ends. Does “Baaad Dude” get her number or does she slap him in the face?! Let me know in the Insta Poll below!